Kids

They’re messy, they are slimy and sticky. They are wonderful, they are amazing and they love us no matter how many times we mess up.

“Want me to get the pliers?”

So, the ultimate daddy threat or joke has to be the “I can get my pliers” threat when a child has a loose tooth. I don’t know how many times I have heard it over the years so of course I was so mad I missed seeing it actually happen,  in my own home.  While putting my son to bed my daughter got out of bed because her loose tooth became a dangler and a fair amount of blood was involved.  According to Dad she twisted and pulled but to no avail. He offered to employ the pliers from his Swiss Army knife and she accepted.Twice! Even after the pliers slipped once she let him go in a second time. “She’s tough” he said later and he admitted he had to not let on it was grossing him out when she was twisting and pulling on it.
I received a text while still upstairs putting my son to bed. I had suspected my daughter had yanked her tooth out but the text (yes we text each other from different rooms of the house) just said “you better check on her.” She was ridiculously excited to tell me about the pliers.
Sometimes it’s just best to let Daddys and Daughters muck about with a Swiss Army knife while Momma’s not looking.

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Confession

So, I felt the need to make a confession.

I use cloth diapers. Sometimes my baby’s butt is so fluffy it’s ridiculous.

There, I said it. It’s out there now. I use cloth diapers. The long and short of it is, they’re really cute. I figure, if you have to deal with diapers for approximately two years (or longer if you are as horrible at potty training as I am) you might as well have some fun with it, right? I mean look at that cute little baby butt! And the diapers have names this one is “Tour de Pants!”

 

Tour de Pants!

Tour de Pants!

 

Hey, you get your kicks where you can, right?

So, do I do it for environmental reasons? Somewhat, but I will be completely honest, that’s kind of lower on the list of “Why?”

I just like them. They present a larger up front investment, but I have already recouped a lot of that by selling the diapers I don’t use anymore, didn’t like that much or that he outgrew. Even with the occasional splurge on a

Known as "fluffy mail"

Known as “fluffy mail”

more expensive diaper that is just really fun and colorful, I still will come out ahead in the diaper dollars game. With my daughter, I was always running out of disposables and I could NEVER remember to get a pack when I knew I would need them. Even when I got the GIANT box at Sam’s Club, I seemed to always run out at terrible times. And WIPES. I felt like all I ever bought at any store was WIPES. More and more and more wipes. WHY does it take 25 wipes to clean up such a small butt? So, I went to cloth wipes for use at home this time and I have to say, they’re awesome. Container, water, cut up wash clothes = SHAZAAM! Best way to clean up a butt with just one or two wipes. Ever. With cloth, even if EVERY SINGLE DIAPER I own is in the wash, I can seriously fold up a receiving blanket and put a cover on it until the wash is done. Old t-shirts or kitchen towels would work, too. And don’t give me the “EEEEWWWW” story. You have a baby? Everything is gross, babies are gross. Think about it, you put poop in the trash when you have a baby, I think that’s gross because I would never dream of putting my own poop in our trash can. I would probably have had to pay for extra trash pick up at our house if we had used disposables full time, so yet another money saving aspect of my cloth adventure.

Did I mention blow outs? If you have ever been charged with caring for an infant for more than a couple hours you have probably experienced THE BLOW OUT phenomenon. Up the back, out the sides…everywhere. Poop. Everywhere. With cloth, you can contain the most nuclear of blowouts. I have had to do an outfit change due to poop explodes maybe 3 times with my son versus a bajillzillion with my daughter.

So, let’s see – save money? Check. (I am not good at this in general, so if buying cute butt covers for my baby means I save money in the long run, I’m game.)

Reduce the number of times I have to wad up a pooped on article of clothing? Check.

Don’t put poop in the trash can. Check.

Save the environment? Check.

But am I “crunchy?” This term is ridiculous. I am quite soft and squishy thank you. I do like granola, I do use cloth diapers but I am just me. I buy things with corn syrup in it sometimes…GASP. I buy things for convenience and better believe I buy Happy Meals for me and my kids (sometimes I just want the toy). I just really like cloth diapers. We justified the purchase of an awesome RV to do family camping trips in because I am breastfeeding and using cloth. The money we are saving on those two things alone really amounts to what we paid for the RV. Think about it!? Crunchy or not, that’s just smart living. AND I work so it’s not just something that stay at home mom’s do successfully.

I won’t preach or push things on people, but I will go on endlessly about stuff that I have found enjoyable, easy to use, fun to use, helpful or awesome…so you may hear from me again about this (You all know how I am about Crabbies Ginger Beer, Cadbury mini eggs and yoga pants). The laundry is not that hard, the folding has a meditative quality to it and they are just ridiculously addictive to purchase. And I don’t judge you for using disposables, let’s make that clear. I keep them on hand, too. I guess that’s why I am making a “confession.” I don’t want to be put in a box because I use cloth – don’t judge me or label me. You know me, I’m just me. I think I lean toward keeping it a secret for that reason and that I also don’t want people to think that I will look down upon them for using disposables. I could care less…other than you’re totally missing out on some seriously stylish poop catchers here!

Who knew something that catches your kid’s excrement would turn into a hobby?

Interested? Feel free to ask me any questions. I’ve guest blogged on an actual cloth diapering web site – I mean, that makes me super legit, right? Diaper changes are just more fun when you get to pick out something other than what Pampers decided to put on their diapers.

 

The Love Expert

My daughter is in first grade. She has been obsessively (like I’m going to cook your rabbit) in love with a little boy in her class since they were in preschool three years previous. Devastated when they were separated in Kindergarten, they have been rejoined in first grade and even were assigned to sit next to each other. I always thought this was one sided, that my daughter was just going to pine for this little boy all her life and he was never to return this affection. Lo and behold, he asked her to be her “Valentime” (my daughter’s version of the holiday). She says her friend Payton “the love expert” says this is a BIG deal, like marriage and stuff. It’s cute, I love it. While we spent all of her boyfriend crazy kindergarten days reminding her that it’s best to just be friends with everyone, I have to admit, I like hearing her stories and I think it’s cute. Tommy’s dad and grandfather are or were police officers so I do often feel the need to apologize in advance for the day she tries to climb a tree and sneak into Tommy’s room because that’s how it will happen, I’m sure of it. But it reminded me of this picture from a couple months ago:

I like this boy, he looks infinitely optimistic about life.

I like this boy, he looks infinitely optimistic about life.

 

Not long after this, my daughter asked me what states were the ones where you can marry women. I asked her why she wanted to know and she said women are just more interesting and she thinks she would rather marry one of them. She’s right about that, women ARE interesting.

I’m Tired

I’ve read all the books. So many more books than I read with my first child. I believe the number of books read with the first child was exactly zero. I was winging it with the sage wisdom of my mother for back up. Whether I always agreed with her or not, it was nice to have someone willing to tell me what to do when I didn’t want to or could not decide for myself. “Let the baby cry!” OK! Thank you, I needed someone to tell me that.

Now, second time around, my initial confidence and “I’ve done this before, I’m totally gonna nail it this time” attitude has become a whimpering, sniveling, drooling, slobbering pile of tired momma that someone needs to seriously come clean up. Nothing works. None of the books are helping me sleep. None of the books are helping the baby sleep. I call “UNCLE” I give up, it’s over. The baby wins. I am convinced that is what is going on, he laughs, LAUGHS at me in the wee hours when I give in and pick him up. Screams instantly turn to raspberries as we head down stairs to the magical part of the house that he simply can NOT be away from (the living room? Not so interesting during the day when Momma needs to work and Baby should be happily playing….).

I started my daughter on cereal at around 3 months. She was FINE. She was breastfed and to be honest I really don’t remember when we moved to formula but I think at some point she weaned herself and that’s what we did. She was fine. She slept well and was happy and healthy. My son, I have been more vigilant about breastfeeding and he is almost six months old and things are going south. He no longer sleeps 8 to 10 hours at night, he’s trying to cut all his teeth at once, he only rolls at night in his crib then SCREAMS when he can’t get back to his stomach sleeping position and is now refusing to nurse. I’m in momma heaven. A battle of wills with a baby is just not fair. Do you comfort? Do you let them cry? Do you send Daddy in? Do I wean to bottle and pump (no thanks)? And how in the hell did someone get away with writing a whole book about the “shush pat” method? COME ON! Seriously? Can I get a deal for the “Wine and Forget To the Turn the Monitor On” method? Or the “You’re going to go live with Gramma so Momma can Nap” method? MILLIONS, I would sell millions.

The point is, you just want someone to tell you it’s OK to let the baby cry and take a 10 minute shower, that no, the water doesn’t wash away the guilt but your baby will still love you and really, at some point, who would want to nurse from a momma who hasn’t showered or changed her clothes in 3 days? Take comfort in your “village.” I LOVE my village. My village is mostly on Facebook – HI VILLAGE! Mom’s I haven’t talked to in a long time, we have rejoined to keep each other sane. It’s all poop and food and boobs and sleep and naps and teeth on there and it’s great. I have met new mom’s and old mom’s and we can just let it all out. They understand and they don’t judge. You need a village, get yourself a village. It won’t get you any more sleep but it will keep you more sane and your significant other will want to be around you more.

I say skip the books. Get a village. Drink a glass of wine. Cuddle your baby and sleep when you’re sixty.